I feel as if I just turned around one day and I was suddenly 45 years old and a grandmother. Don't get me wrong, I love being a grandmother and a mother as well. I have two wonderful children that I am very proud of and an amazing granddaughter and grandson. I don't regret a single minute of my life thus far. I know that I am very blessed.
I think it's just that suddenly I find myself in a position to once again think about myself as a person and not only a mom and a wife. I just find it odd that now that I could do more things for me I haven't the first clue what it is that I want to do. I am a different person now that I'm over forty. I don't spend as much time worrying about what other people think and I finally understand that everyone is not going to like me and I'm actually okay with that.
I think that I express my opinion more now and I feel like my husband and children often think that this means I'm in a bad mood. They are all so use to my compliance with whatever goes on. I don't feel the need to keep peace as much as I feel the need to be heard. The problem is that I have been mostly quiet with my opinions and needs for so long that I'm not sure they are willing to hear me now. It's like turning 40 came with some power to express my feelings more openly, or maybe it was just pure need. I know that it did come with no need for apologies where none should be given.
I feel pretty good about the person that I am and I know that the days will come and go and I'll probably keep doing the same things that I've always done most of the time, but I do hope that as I age I remember to shake things up a bit now and then........dance in the rain; stay home from work because I want to; kiss more and be kissed more; and say I love you every chance I get...........
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
"Childhood Memories"
I often think about my childhood and the memories that are etched in my mind are not ones of toys or gifts, but ones of people and moments, smells, sounds, and feelings of the heart.
I remember my Mother always being there to do what ever she could for me. Taking me to school events,and talking to me when my feelings were hurt, or I was just feeling down about something. I can hear her Saying "be sweet" as I went out the door with my friends from school.
I remember shopping sprees in Atlanta, eating at the Magnolia Room, and going to the Fox Theater. I remember my mother teaching me the precise moment to remove my gloves from my hands and put them in my purse. I loved it! She was constantly training me in the ways of being a lady and I appreciate all that she taught me.
I remember my father always keeping the yard in perfect order, and cooking on the grill. I remember my friends calling him "Boss man" because his presence was so great in our home. A freezer full of Ice cream all summer because he knew we liked it. The smell of my mom's perfume and his aftershave in their bedroom ....
Christmas mornings with all of my brothers and sisters in our new pj's and the feeling of closeness as we all sat on the church pew together every Sunday morning listening to the preacher followed by a few verses of Just As I Am..........I remember the smell of a spring morning at my granny's house. I can close my eyes and hear the birds singing and smell the bacon cooking as I watched the sun come up behind her house. I remember listening to the window fan as it drew cool air in, and the slam of the screen door you would hear when someone came in from outside.
I can see my grandfather sitting on the couch watching a Braves game and not paying attention to anything else around him. I remember the look in my grandparents eyes that let me know that they thought that any and everything that I did was amazing. That look was always so full of love for me that it was almost tangible. My Aunt Bessie's Jergens Lotion is another favorite smell from my childhood. I loved sitting in the glider with her or sitting in the porch swing together on Confederate Avenue in Atlanta.
I felt the same love from her as I did from my grandparents. The days of Grant Park and old Atlanta are gone now, and my grandparents and Aunt Bessie are gone as well......the sting of their loss is with me everyday and will be with me until I see them again in Heaven.
My parents are divorced and my brothers and sisters are busy with families of their own but we still all get together when we can and it's always special to me, and When we do there is always a love in the room so strong you can almost touch it..... I always remember to feel it, and say thank you Lord for another day and another precious memory to hold in my heart.
I remember my Mother always being there to do what ever she could for me. Taking me to school events,and talking to me when my feelings were hurt, or I was just feeling down about something. I can hear her Saying "be sweet" as I went out the door with my friends from school.
I remember shopping sprees in Atlanta, eating at the Magnolia Room, and going to the Fox Theater. I remember my mother teaching me the precise moment to remove my gloves from my hands and put them in my purse. I loved it! She was constantly training me in the ways of being a lady and I appreciate all that she taught me.
I remember my father always keeping the yard in perfect order, and cooking on the grill. I remember my friends calling him "Boss man" because his presence was so great in our home. A freezer full of Ice cream all summer because he knew we liked it. The smell of my mom's perfume and his aftershave in their bedroom ....
Christmas mornings with all of my brothers and sisters in our new pj's and the feeling of closeness as we all sat on the church pew together every Sunday morning listening to the preacher followed by a few verses of Just As I Am..........I remember the smell of a spring morning at my granny's house. I can close my eyes and hear the birds singing and smell the bacon cooking as I watched the sun come up behind her house. I remember listening to the window fan as it drew cool air in, and the slam of the screen door you would hear when someone came in from outside.
I can see my grandfather sitting on the couch watching a Braves game and not paying attention to anything else around him. I remember the look in my grandparents eyes that let me know that they thought that any and everything that I did was amazing. That look was always so full of love for me that it was almost tangible. My Aunt Bessie's Jergens Lotion is another favorite smell from my childhood. I loved sitting in the glider with her or sitting in the porch swing together on Confederate Avenue in Atlanta.
I felt the same love from her as I did from my grandparents. The days of Grant Park and old Atlanta are gone now, and my grandparents and Aunt Bessie are gone as well......the sting of their loss is with me everyday and will be with me until I see them again in Heaven.
My parents are divorced and my brothers and sisters are busy with families of their own but we still all get together when we can and it's always special to me, and When we do there is always a love in the room so strong you can almost touch it..... I always remember to feel it, and say thank you Lord for another day and another precious memory to hold in my heart.
" I Believe"
I believe in having a kind heart.....I believe in helping other people whenever you can......I believe Karma is a bitch.........I believe that there is good in almost all people. I believe that we are all God's children.....I believe in Jesus Christ.....I believe in the power of prayer... I believe in remembering that everyone is entitled to a bad day. I believe there is something beautiful in everyone. I believe in laughter ..I believe in hugs and kisses....lots of them. I believe in saying I love you every chance that I get....I believe in remembering that no one is promised tomorrow and in living each day as though it may be my last....I believe in dancing in the rain....I believe in singing as though no one is listening...I believe that the best things in life are not material...I believe in hard work....I believe in family and friends...I believe in having fun...I believe that you are only old when your dreams become your regrets......
Friday, November 21, 2008
"Lady Like"
My mother was born in Atlanta, Georgia in the 1940's. My two sisters and I were born in Atlanta as well. My mother is a woman who was very consumed with teaching her daughters to be (and I quote) "lady like". Now the first thing that came to my mind when I heard her using the phrase "act like a lady" was the question, is she actually trying to teach us to become ladies or are we faking it? It didn't take me long to realize that we were most definitely not learning to fake it. She meant that we were going to be well mannered, graceful, and charming if it killed all three of us.
My mother expected us all three to learn the rules of being a lady. I have to confess that I was a willing participant as soon as I learned some of what becoming a lady involved. Here are some of the basic rules that my mother insisted were vital in any one's quest to become a lady:
1. Never use "filthy" or "vulgar" language.
2. Never forget to sit up straight.
3. Always cross your legs when you sit down.
4. All of your "outfits" must be well put together and matching.
5. Never ever be the only girl with a group of boys. (people will talk)
6. Never call a boy on the telephone. (It's simply not done".)
7. Never act as though you are brainless to impress a boy. (charm works
much better and you can still have "good sense")
8. Never listen to "if you loved me you would".
9. Never forget that "you are judged by the company you keep".
10. Keep your appearance neat, clean, and "pulled together" at all times.
("you never know who you might run in to.")
11. To much make-up will make you look "cheap", but leaving the house
after you reach a certain age without the right amount of it is close
to illegal.
12. "Be Sweet". ( This was said to me each and every time I started out the
door).
13. Don't wear white after labor day.
14. As soon as you are seated in a restaurant your gloves are to be removed
and placed with or inside your purse.
15. "Black is slimming".
16. Perfume is a must! (She has a signature scent).
17. Write thank you notes when you owe someone a thank you.
These are just a few of the rules off the top of my head but there were many more. Now my mother didn't just give you the rules and walk away. She was more than willing to stay close and help you implement them. My younger sister just listened and complied, my twin sister was driven absolutely insane by it all, while I ,on the other hand, loved every minute of it.
Lord, my favorite activity that being a lady required was shopping. My mother and my sisters, and I would go on "shopping trips" downtown that I still remember today. We would, of course, be dressed in our "Sunday best", which meant dresses with crinoline slips, patent leather shoes, matching purses, lace socks, white gloves adorned with little seed pearls, and sometimes a hat.
If I close my eyes I can still hear my shoes tapping on the sidewalk as I walked down the street toward Rich's department store. (I loved that sound)
We would shop all day and buy dresses and matching accessories and I would be in Heaven. The more packages I was carrying the happier I would be. Lunch would be at the "Magnolia Room" and we would go home exhausted, but it was such a wonderful exhaustion for me.
I loved everything about being a little girl and I love everything about being a lady. I have a huge collection of handbags, and more bracelets than you could begin to imagine. If it bangles, jangles, sparkles, or has a pearl in, on, or around it I think I have to have it. Another thing that I can't get enough of are vintage ladies handkerchiefs. The kind with the lace and the flowers all over them. I keep one in my purse at all times (sprayed with just a little perfume, of course). As far as I am concerned they are an absolute necessity. They serve several purposes, such as; making the inside of your purse smell nice, being there for you to "dab" your neck or brow should you find yourself in a situation that causes you to become overheated, or if God forbid , you find yourself in tears. I also think that heels, perfume, and make-up are all fabulous things.
Needless to say, I was a wonderful student for my mother's teachings. Some of the other rules that have just popped into my mind were rules concerning manners. She would say things like "don't forget to say yes ma'am and no ma'am, and yes sir and no sir. Never chew with your mouth open, "it's beyond rude", and "no elbows on the table". "Napkins in your laps", and absolutely no silliness while you are suppose to be eating". We were at the dinner table for eating and mannerly conversation, period.
Some of these things may make my mother sound harsh but she wasn't like that at all. These things that she taught me were just things she really believed in and I treasure the knowledge of them today, because as an adult woman I agree with her. I think all of her rules were very important in helping mold me into the lady that I am today.
I feel so fortunate and so blessed that my mother taught me these things. I wish more mothers spent more time on the rules of "lady like" these days. I work in a high school and some of the things that I have heard come out of girls mouths as well as some of the things they wear and the actions that they display are unbelievable.
Many women may not agree with me, but I feel like being a lady is totally separate from being a successful woman. I think that you can be a very successful woman without having that harsh edge that completely takes your femininity away. Being a lady does not mean that you are, as I have said earlier, brainless. It just means that you know how to behave. My ideas are not neanderthal. I do agree with equal rights and I do believe that women can perform most of the same jobs as men, but I also believe that they are still ladies and should act accordingly.
I believe men actually appreciate a "lady" when they meet one, and I think that they usually remember her. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but as for me, I'll take "lady like" all day long........ If a gentlemen holds a door for me, or shows chivalry towards me in any manner, I would never dream of being offended. I would simply be pleased that he recognized me as a lady, and of course, I would say "thank you"...........
Thank you Mama for raising me with your rules, manners and ladylike lessons...What a gift....
I love you beyond words!
My mother expected us all three to learn the rules of being a lady. I have to confess that I was a willing participant as soon as I learned some of what becoming a lady involved. Here are some of the basic rules that my mother insisted were vital in any one's quest to become a lady:
1. Never use "filthy" or "vulgar" language.
2. Never forget to sit up straight.
3. Always cross your legs when you sit down.
4. All of your "outfits" must be well put together and matching.
5. Never ever be the only girl with a group of boys. (people will talk)
6. Never call a boy on the telephone. (It's simply not done".)
7. Never act as though you are brainless to impress a boy. (charm works
much better and you can still have "good sense")
8. Never listen to "if you loved me you would".
9. Never forget that "you are judged by the company you keep".
10. Keep your appearance neat, clean, and "pulled together" at all times.
("you never know who you might run in to.")
11. To much make-up will make you look "cheap", but leaving the house
after you reach a certain age without the right amount of it is close
to illegal.
12. "Be Sweet". ( This was said to me each and every time I started out the
door).
13. Don't wear white after labor day.
14. As soon as you are seated in a restaurant your gloves are to be removed
and placed with or inside your purse.
15. "Black is slimming".
16. Perfume is a must! (She has a signature scent).
17. Write thank you notes when you owe someone a thank you.
These are just a few of the rules off the top of my head but there were many more. Now my mother didn't just give you the rules and walk away. She was more than willing to stay close and help you implement them. My younger sister just listened and complied, my twin sister was driven absolutely insane by it all, while I ,on the other hand, loved every minute of it.
Lord, my favorite activity that being a lady required was shopping. My mother and my sisters, and I would go on "shopping trips" downtown that I still remember today. We would, of course, be dressed in our "Sunday best", which meant dresses with crinoline slips, patent leather shoes, matching purses, lace socks, white gloves adorned with little seed pearls, and sometimes a hat.
If I close my eyes I can still hear my shoes tapping on the sidewalk as I walked down the street toward Rich's department store. (I loved that sound)
We would shop all day and buy dresses and matching accessories and I would be in Heaven. The more packages I was carrying the happier I would be. Lunch would be at the "Magnolia Room" and we would go home exhausted, but it was such a wonderful exhaustion for me.
I loved everything about being a little girl and I love everything about being a lady. I have a huge collection of handbags, and more bracelets than you could begin to imagine. If it bangles, jangles, sparkles, or has a pearl in, on, or around it I think I have to have it. Another thing that I can't get enough of are vintage ladies handkerchiefs. The kind with the lace and the flowers all over them. I keep one in my purse at all times (sprayed with just a little perfume, of course). As far as I am concerned they are an absolute necessity. They serve several purposes, such as; making the inside of your purse smell nice, being there for you to "dab" your neck or brow should you find yourself in a situation that causes you to become overheated, or if God forbid , you find yourself in tears. I also think that heels, perfume, and make-up are all fabulous things.
Needless to say, I was a wonderful student for my mother's teachings. Some of the other rules that have just popped into my mind were rules concerning manners. She would say things like "don't forget to say yes ma'am and no ma'am, and yes sir and no sir. Never chew with your mouth open, "it's beyond rude", and "no elbows on the table". "Napkins in your laps", and absolutely no silliness while you are suppose to be eating". We were at the dinner table for eating and mannerly conversation, period.
Some of these things may make my mother sound harsh but she wasn't like that at all. These things that she taught me were just things she really believed in and I treasure the knowledge of them today, because as an adult woman I agree with her. I think all of her rules were very important in helping mold me into the lady that I am today.
I feel so fortunate and so blessed that my mother taught me these things. I wish more mothers spent more time on the rules of "lady like" these days. I work in a high school and some of the things that I have heard come out of girls mouths as well as some of the things they wear and the actions that they display are unbelievable.
Many women may not agree with me, but I feel like being a lady is totally separate from being a successful woman. I think that you can be a very successful woman without having that harsh edge that completely takes your femininity away. Being a lady does not mean that you are, as I have said earlier, brainless. It just means that you know how to behave. My ideas are not neanderthal. I do agree with equal rights and I do believe that women can perform most of the same jobs as men, but I also believe that they are still ladies and should act accordingly.
I believe men actually appreciate a "lady" when they meet one, and I think that they usually remember her. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but as for me, I'll take "lady like" all day long........ If a gentlemen holds a door for me, or shows chivalry towards me in any manner, I would never dream of being offended. I would simply be pleased that he recognized me as a lady, and of course, I would say "thank you"...........
Thank you Mama for raising me with your rules, manners and ladylike lessons...What a gift....
I love you beyond words!
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