"The Love Of Her Life... Stolen So Quietly"

My husband and I were recently in a restaurant together having lunch. We were seated and waiting on our food when two elderly gentlemen walked by our table on their way out,one assisting the other.

These two gentlemen were followed by one more elderly gentleman, and three elderly women, one looking a bit older than the other two. The eldest of the women was obviously the matriarch of the family.

She appeared to be in her late 80's to early 90's and was dressed in a manner that would have made Coco Chanel proud. She was wearing a suit and heels, complete with pearls and a manicure. She was both classy and beautiful.

As the group she was with began to make their way to the door, the woman stopped directly beside our table, and for the first time I saw her eyes. I made eye contact with her, and I knew immediately she had a broken heart, although I had no way of knowing exactly what had caused it.

My unspoken question about her pain was answered very shortly when her eyes filled with tears, and the other women and two of the waitresses surrounded her. With tears threatening to spill over onto her cheeks at any moment, she began to speak.

She first gave an apology for the tears, followed by an explanation for her behavior.
She looked into the eyes of the waitress that she evidently hadn't met (the rest seemed to know the woman), and said, "you see dear, the two men that just went out the door were my husband and my son". As she pointed to the other people with her, she said "these are my other children (all of which appeared to be at least 60 or so), and we've been eating here as a family every Saturday for years, but today will be the last time that we are all here."

The waitresses asked her why that was, and she went on to say that her husband had Alzheimer's disease, and that her children were placing him in a home that afternoon. She said they felt that it had become to dangerous for her to care for him on her own, because he was becoming violent at times.

My eyes were filled with tears that had begun to quietly spill onto my cheeks by this point, and as she went on to say that they had been married and slept next to each other for 69 years. My heart felt an enormous ache for the pain and loneliness that I could only begin to imagine she was feeling. The love of her life was being stolen away by this terrible illness.

The tears spilled from her eyes as she finished her story and as they did the waitresses let their tears fall also. They gave her a hug and walked with her and her children towards the door.

When she had gone I just sat there thinking about both the depth of the love I had seen in her eyes when she spoke of her husband and what they had shared for so many years, as well as the look of heartbreak in them when she spoke of their lifetime together drawing to a close beginning with this physical separation.

I spent the rest of that weekend thinking about her and all that she was going through, and when I was able to get past thinking about the look in her eyes and the thoughts of her pain, I realized that she had been so greatly blessed in her life to have had a love that she felt so deeply and that had been so strong and long lasting.

We should all be fortunate enough to have someone love us in such a deep way. So deeply that it can be seen in the other persons eyes when they look at us, and felt in our hearts when we meet their gaze...

My darling's, in case you haven't figured it out yet...what this woman had with her husband, and the family that they created, is simply by definition.. a rich life....

"American Pride And Respect, Get You Some"

The bell rings every morning for school to begin and we observe a moment of silence, which I personally use to pray. This is followed by the pledge of allegiance. I stand each and every morning for the pledge in my classroom, and if I should be out of the classroom I stop wherever I am, place my right hand over my heart,and remain in that position until the pledge has been said to completion.

All of the students in our special education classroom stand for the pledge as well. This is something that I feel is important, as it shows respect for our country.

As I mentioned, there are some mornings when the pledge begins that I am caught out in the hallway because of my morning bus duty. I have seen many teachers and students walk right past me, as I stand with my hand over my heart, and I feel they are showing a blatant disregard and disrespect for the pledge and all that it represents.

I have stopped in front of open classroom doors and seen students sitting in their desks not being made to do so much as stand up. I have taught students outside of special education and I have made them ALL stand during the pledge.

Some of these students did not mind letting me know that I couldn't "make them" recite the pledge because they have "the right not to say it". That may be true, but my response to that is unfortunately they are exercising another right at the same time. That right in my opinion is "their freedom to act like disrespectful, ungrateful idiots".

Understand that I am not talking about people of one certain race or religion that disrespect our country. The students and adults that I've observed are from all races and cultures including many that were born and raised right here in this country.

I had a student last week inform me in the hallway that he would never say the pledge and that those of us who do are "programmed". This student also said that he had written a song that was Anti-American. I'm not sure, but I think he wanted me to say that I understood.

There are men and women who serve our country each and every day sacrificing more than the average American could ever begin to wrap their mind around, and all for
very little pay.

There are Americans who have lost their moms, dads, sons, daughters, and spouses so that we could maintain the right to stand in a classroom and say the pledge of allegiance.

The People who feel as if they don't owe our country any respect and our soldiers any support and appreciation are the same ones who spend their days utilizing all of the benefits and rights that this country provides them with.

Don't get me wrong there are still some respectful students and adults that do as I do and give respect where it is due, and teach their sons and daughters to do the same, but for the ones who don't recognize the need for it, or lack a patriotic feeling of loyalty in their hearts, let me clue you in, it's called "American Pride and Respect" get you some, or move your disrespectful self to a country you do appreciate, and stop taking up space in ours.......

"Visual Assessments"

My husband is always looking at beautiful women when he is out in public. This happens both when I am with him, and when he is alone. I know that it happens when he's alone for two reasons. One, he's human, and two, he has reported back to me on more than one occasion that he's seen an attractive woman while he was out.

I have no clue as to why he feels like he is a mandated reporter regarding all such incidents, but I do have my suspicions as to why he felt the need to tell me the first time. I think it may have been because he came home with a slight head injury, complete with bleeding, that he felt needed my immediate attention.

He had been to the grocery store, and evidently saw an attractive woman as he was walking out. With his attention totally focused on her, he forgot to watch for fixed objects, and walked full force into a brick column, thus causing a small cut above his eye. He came right home, gave a full report, and asked me to put a band aid on the wound.

Another great example of this behavior happened just last week. He went into a store, that I had driven us to, and I waited outside. A few minutes passed by, and he came back out dying from laughter. I asked what happened, and he had no problem informing me that he had been staring at a "really pretty woman" and walked directly into another woman who was standing at an ATM machine, nearly knocking her down to the ground.

Let me just say that I have, in the past, been offended by the fact that he was looking at other women so openly with me standing beside him. I felt like it was disrespectful.

These days, after taking the time to be honest with myself, I am willing to admit the fact that I am guilty of the same behavior when I see handsome men, but with two major differences. One, I am much more discrete, and two, I have never felt the need to report such incidents back to him.

I have come even further in my thinking after the most recent of such reports given to me by my husband. I have decided that I have the right to be just as blatant with my visual assessments as he is with his. I'm not sure I want to go as far as reporting back to him just yet, but I'm not ready to rule it out for the future.

I may still be a little more reserved than he is in my assessing of other men. Not because of my husband, or what he might think, but because they may notice me doing it.

Maybe as time goes by I can become as relaxed about it as he is.......well..maybe not quite that relaxed....but then again, who knows?

Lord...I'd better go and put a band aid in my purse....