Thursday, January 30, 2014

Lipstick/Gloss...A Personal Discovery

The other day, I picked my purse up, and realized it's weight was akin to a ton of bricks. I stopped then and there, and decided I had to go through it and investigate the situation.

I began removing things and putting the like items together. As I was doing this I realized that every other item that I took out was either a tube of lipstick or lip gloss. At first this wasn't all that alarming to me because I knew I had a several tubes...I love to gloss up.

Anyway, as I continued to work, the pile of lip gloss and lip stick grew and grew....I began to fear at that point that I may possibly have an addiction in the form of lip wear...

When I had completed the process I looked around at the piles of items. There were two bottles of perfume, glasses, (sun and reading), there were keys, a wallet, and a cosmetic bag....and there was the lipstick/gloss collection...Oh yes..without a doubt it was a collection...

The pile of lipstick/gloss was so large that I just had to count them. As the number grew I had to face the truth. The potential for addiction was no longer a possibility. It was a harsh reality. Not counting what was in my cosmetic bag, I had 37 lipsticks/glosses in my purse. I was seriously stunned. I thought.. Oh Snap!! There are 37!! Really?? Clearly,I had uncovered the weight issue my purse had.

Now I know that I am not the only addict of this sort and others like me might even understand an excess of lip wear, but 37???

The, number, albeit large, is not the only problem with this "collection". The next step for me was to take inventory. Before inventory, I thought that I might be able to justify the situation by saying that everyone needed a variety of lipstick/gloss in their purse because you never know what color you might need.

Post inventory I realized that I had a variety alright. There was, Mac, Clinique, Loreal, Chanel, Bobbi Brown, Revlon, and the list goes on..Let me just say the brand name was where the variety factor stopped cold. My inventory revealed that of the 37 one was a clear lip plumper, which no woman should be without, another was a Red lipstick for occasions when I happen to have my sassy pants on, and the remaining 35 were each and everyone Nude in color.

At this point I had to ask myself if I had some deep seeded fear that there will be a massive run on Nude lipstick/gloss and it will no longer be available?

During the time that I sat there trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I had unearthed an addiction that I was completely oblivious to, I remembered something that had happened just a few short weeks earlier.

It was a week before Christmas, and my Mama called me. She said "Arlene, I have just about finished buying your Christmas presents, but I wanted to get you something else. Is there anything you can think of that you want?"

I answered, of course, with Mama don't get me anything else. You shouldn't have gotten me anything at all. Then in true Mama form, she responded with "I'm buying you something else so you might as well tell me what you want."

Well, you'll never guess what I said next..

My response? "Okay Mama. Just get me some "Nude" lip gloss from the Clinique counter....I mean crack up!! Thank God my Mama listened to me because Lord only knows what I would have done if she hadn't. Y'all know I needed one more so that it could dwell in my purse among the other 36 I already had.

This recollection was just so ridiculous that not only did I laugh at myself, I had to share it.

Now, I want you all to know, so that you can sleep better tonight, I did scale back the number that made it back into my purse. I think it now hovers somewhere around the 25 mark...

I know you are thinking that the number could have been lower, but I've already explained that the clear lip plumper and the red lipstick are a must....I mean you always want your lips to be all plumped up and Sassy can come on when you least expect it...

That being said..Y'all can see that as far as elimination goes, I have done the best that I can.....







Friday, January 3, 2014

She Got Pneumonia... Now I'm A Transformer

My twin sister was admitted to the hospital recently with pneumonia and the flu. She was placed in the Critical Care Unit due to her extremely low oxygen level and the severity of the pneumonia. Needless to say, I spent the week afraid and worried, but now that she is home I have a story to tell. I ask her for permission first, of course, and since our family handles everything with humor, she granted it, and so here goes....

I was sitting in my sister's hospital room with her, while she slept. I had been so worried about her that the room felt heavy with silence. Just as my thoughts were getting serious she opened her eyes and looked at me and she said "Go and get us some passes.". I said what? She said "Go and get us some passes.".

I paused and thought, she is not clear of mind, and then I decided to just play along, so as not to upset her. I responded with What passes? She said "The ones like Mallory (our niece) got us the other night when she was here. We can leave and come back. She got three of them.".

At that point, I leaned up on the edge of my chair and I said...well, what do they look like? She said "like Army I.D. things, you know....I said Dog tags?....She said "Yes.", then in a low and conspiratorial voice she said "and they are silver and gold. Now go and get us some.".

I remained on the edge of my seat and I leaned forward and I said let me ask you something. She said "What?". I said where did y'all go? In a tone that implied there was no place else in the world they could have gone, she said "We went to get smoothies.".

Now while I was mulling all of this over she looked at me in a most serious manor and said "Did you know we are transformers?". I said What? She repeated "Did you know we are transformers?". I said No. No I did not. She said "Well, we are, and I'm the Blue one, and Mallory is the yellow one, like her truck. I said well I hope I'm pink, because I love pink and she said "Oh, you are." I said awesome! She said mother is the purple one. I said good because that's mother's favorite color.

She said "We transform when we are out with our passes.". I said we do? She said "Yes, we do. You should have seen the people in the smoothie shop step back when we came in. Transformers are intimidating, but we are nice ones." I said good I like nice and I know they are.

Then I said, but we've got a problem. She said "what's that?". I said I have absolutely no idea how to transform.
She said "Girl, all you've gotta do is hit the street and you transform. It's amazing." I said the only thing I could think of ...Awesome!

She dozed off again, at that point, and I sat there and thought, it can't be lack of oxygen because she has a direct line of that going in. Next thought... Oh snap, she's lost it, and just wait until I tell mother she's a purple transformer.

Before panic could completely set in our Mother walked into the room. I told her everything about the conversation I had just had with my sister and she said I am going to speak to her Doctor about it. Later that afternoon when the Doctor came by my mother stepped out into the hallway to speak with him. I heard her explaining that my sister was confused. His answer was "a bit of confusion is common in cases like this." Then I heard my mother, in her "Outside voice" say "a bit of confusion? She thinks she's a transformer!!" He chuckled and tried to reassure my mother that my sister would be fine.


I left that night and came back early the next morning. When I walked in the room I looked at my sister and I said Do you still think you are a transformer? She said "No. I do not." I said well let me just tell you right now that I have no intention of relinquishing my super power just because you have regained clarity, and we are getting transformer t-shirts.

She laughed and then she explained to me that the Doctor had come around and told her that he was diagnosing her with diabetes and that her confusion was due to an extremely high blood sugar level. I hugged her tight and told her that I was so grateful to hear that she hadn't completely lost it, and that I loved her dearly.

Most importantly, I silently thanked God for the healing of my sister, and for the gift of standing in that room with her that day, our birthday. It was the best present that I've ever gotten. She is such a huge part of my heart. I am so grateful for the blessing of her in my life. I have had more than one reminder this year to never take for granted the moments that you get to spend with those that you love. Cherish them...I know I do...

P.S. Sister, I'm still looking for those passes, and when I find them...we're gettin' our pink and blue on... I want a smoothie...I love you!!









 
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